Who Can Make The Big Changes In Washington? How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie!
Born 24 November 1888(1888-11-24)
Maryville, Missouri1
Died 1 November 1955 (aged 66)
Forest Hills, New York
Occupation Writer, Lecturer
Notable work(s) How to Win Friends and Influence People
Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (originally Carnagey until 1922 and possibly somewhat later) (November 24, 1888 – November 1, 1955) was an American writer and lecturer and the developer of famous courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking and interpersonal skills. Born in poverty on a farm in Missouri, he was the author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, first published in 1936, a massive bestseller that remains popular today. He also wrote a biography of Abraham Lincoln, titled Lincoln the Unknown, as well as several other books.
Carnegie was an early proponent of what is now called responsibility assumption, although this only appears minutely in his written work. One of the core ideas in his books is that it is possible to change other people's behavior by changing one's reaction to them.
Who Can Make The Big Changes In Washington? Tell Us Your Story!
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
Building Personal Relationships
* Never criticize, condemn or complain.
* Self-criticism is extremely rare. Your criticism won’t be welcome.
* Criticism makes others defensive and resentful.
* Positive Reinforcement works better.
* Become genuinely interested in other people.
* People are most interested in themselves.
* Remember people’s birthdays and other important details.
* Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
* Find the interests of others and talk about those things.
* If you know nothing of their interests, ask intelligent questions.
* Be a good listener.
* Give your exclusive attention to others.
* Urge others to talk about themselves. Ask pointed questions.
* Make the other person feel important.
* People yearn to feel important and appreciated.
* Praise others’ strengths and they’ll strive to reinforce your opinion.
* Use Names whenever possible.
* Smile.
* Greet others with smiles and enthusiasm.
* Smiling comes through even over the phone.
Selling your Ideas: Establish a Space for Cooperation
* Avoid arguments: you can only lose.
* Arguers will defend and embrace their previous positions.
* Even “winning” will hurt the loser’s pride and build resentment.
* A Guide to avoiding arguments:
1. Welcome the disagreement. Be thankful for a new opinion.
2. Stay calm.
3. Listen first. Hear your opponents out.
4. Identify areas of agreement.
5. Admitting errors will make it easier for others to admit theirs.
6. If no resolution is found, postpone action and promise to explore the opposing perspective.
* Begin in a friendly way.
* Open conversation with sincere praise, appreciation and sympathy.
* A friendly tone will allow others to broach discussions more openly.
* Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
* Eagerly listen to concerns to diffuse tension and build relationships.
* Others need to finish spilling their ideas before listening to you.
* Be sympathetic.
* Most people hunger for sympathy.
* Tell them: “I’d feel the same way under those circumstances.”
* Respect others’ opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
* People don’t like to admit they’re wrong and may take it personally.
* If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
* Demonstrate your willingness to rationally examine the facts.
* If another is about to criticize you, don’t let them start!
* A harsh self-rebuke may prompt the others to soften their critiques.
* Admitting errors clears guilt and everyone to move forward quickly.
* Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
* Another’s perspective and motivation is the key to understanding their decisions, agenda and personality.
* Frame requests in terms of what others find motivating.
* Ask yourself: “Why would someone want to do what I'm asking?”
Dale Carnegie - Inspirational Words of Wisdom
"Act as if you were already happy and that will tend to make you happy.”
"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.”
"Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours.”
"Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it... that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear.”
"Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have.”
"If only the people who worry about their liabilities would think about the riches they do possess, they would stop worrying.”
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”
"Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment.”
"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.”
"The person who seeks all their applause from outside has their happiness in another's keeping.”
"We all have possibilities we don't know about. We can do things we don't even dream we can do.”
"You can close more business in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.”
"Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude.”
"Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves.”
"Instead of worrying about what people say of you, why not spend time trying to accomplish something they will admire.”
Quotes
"Act enthusiastic and you will be enthusiastic."
"Fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind."
"Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have."
"Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success."
"If only the people who worry about their liabilities would think about the riches they do possess, they would stop worrying."
Dale Carnegie - Inspirational Words of Wisdom
Comment
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Comment by James Everitt on January 6, 2009 at 10:41am -
Friends of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce
FREE MARKET in America will resolve our Energy and Economic problems, if our elected officials will support us, instead of creating laws that hurts business.
As we face unprecedented economic challenges, a plan for restoring growth must include:
Immediate economic stimulus to spur jobs;
Tax, labor, and regulatory policies which preserve business and innovation; and
Reforms to our broken legal culture and ailing health care system.
So what's the plan? Tune in to the U.S. Chamber's annual State of American Business address -- Wednesday, January 7, 2009, at 10:00 a.m. EST -- to hear Tom Donohue and Bruce Josten highlight the business community's priorities to stimulate the economy and create jobs.
Webcast details follow:
WHAT: State of American Business Address Live Webcast
WHEN: Wednesday, January 7, 2009, at 10:00 a.m. EST
HOW: Watch the address online Jan. 7 at U.S. Chamber of Commerce
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